There are many more who seek than there are those who find. For some, perhaps most, seeking is itself the end. Finding is avoided perhaps because it would put an end to the familiar – to the seeking. Or it is avoided out of a fear that is not or cannot be acknowledged.
Why is it that so few choose to take the direct path to knowledge of their true nature? Why is the progressive path so overwhelmingly chosen by those who seek enlightenment? Why do so many who appear to seek enlightenment – however they might understand that – move throughout their lives from one path to another: through various forms of meditation, bodywork, mental training, devotional practices, religious traditions?
It is because, for many, seeking itself is the goal. To be engaged in the pursuit is itself a satisfying means of self-identification. It is an identity that seems both worthwhile and virtuous.
To say to oneself and others “I am a seeker of enlightenment. I have spent years in various meditation practices. I have attended dozens of satsangs and workshops. I have studied the writings of the great masters of both eastern and western religions and spiritual traditions. Now I am engaged in intensive breathwork and past-life regression (for example).” That might suggest a commendable energy and apparent desire. But it might also suggest that the seeker seeks seeking and not finding.
If upon reading one work of a spiritual master I immediately put it down and pick up the next book, my practice is probably the reading of spiritual books. That is a valuable pursuit but if it is not accompanied by the earnest attempt to internalize and utilize the message, its value is probably not as a means to attain the spiritual level that allowed the authors of those books to write them.
To pursue a practice to the point of near-attainment only to then pivot to another practice suggests fear of success. That fear might be grounded in a misunderstanding of success. If the seeker believes, on some level, that attainment of his goal will bring with it a complete change in his life, his relationships, his pursuits, his enjoyments; then success might be seen as something to approach but to avoid. Being ‘almost there’ might be success enough, especially if the cost is the loss of a long-nurtured identity.
In that sense the direct path, which honors the progressive one but requires that a person let it go, entails a much larger step into the unknown. If the end of the path is only one step away, taking that step requires conquering the fear of success.
The seeker must be willing to let go of seeking when finding appears on the horizon.
© Charles R Lightner